To ya,
Happy birthday.
Add comment March 8th, 2010
Lost and frustrated…
Tears drop every time listen to the song…
The song we were listening when I first held your hand…
ADELE CHASING PAVEMENT
I’ve made up my mind,
Don’t need to think it over,
if I’m wrong I am right,
Don’t need to look no further,
This ain’t lust,
i know this is love but,
If i tell the world,
I’ll never say enough,
Cause it was not said to you,
And thats exactly what i need to do,
If i’m in love with you,
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere
I’d build myself up,
And fly around in circles,
Wait then as my heart drops,
and my back begins to tingle
finally could this be it
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere
Add comment February 18th, 2010
Alicia Keys - Doesn’t Mean Anything
Used to dream of being a millionaire, without a care
But if I’m seeing my dreams, and you aren’t there
’cause it’s over
that just wont be fair
darling,
rather be a poor woman living on the street,
no food to eat,
cause i don’t want no body if i have to cry.
cause it’s over
when you said goodbye!
all at once…
i had it all
but
it doesn’t mean anything
now that you’re gone
from above seems i had it all
but it doesn’t mean anything
since you’re gone
now i see myself through different eyes,
it’s no surprise!
being alone will make you realize
when it’s over!
all in love is fair I shoulda been there, I shoulda been there, I shoulda shoulda.
all at once…
i had it all
but
it doesn’t mean anything
now that you’re gone
from above seems i had it all
but it doesn’t mean anything
since you’re gone
I know I pushed you away
What can I do that would save our love
Take these material things
They don’t mean nothing
Its you that I want
All at once…
I had it all
But it doesn’t mean anything
Now that you’re gone
From above,
Seems I had it all
But it doesn’t mean anything
Since you’re gone
All at once…
I had it all
But it doesn’t mean anything
Now that you’re gone
From above,
Seems I had it all
But it doesn’t mean anything
Since you’re gone
心灰意冷
一個晚上, 要保護喜歡的人, 我不怕野狗; 一個晚上, 要支持喜歡的人, 我不怕割損手做紙牌; 幾個晚上, 要接送喜歡的人, 我不怕風雪吹打; 十多個晚上, 要取悅喜歡的人, 我煮宵夜; 可惜這種種都不是她欣賞的, 被嫌棄的感覺不好受。一個晚上, 躺在病床等待慰問的來電, 靜靜坐到天亮, 沒有響過, 照胃鏡腸鏡比起心痛, 一點也不痛。偶然記起一句「你好似出唔倒大場面。」暑假到了上海一家公關公司, Y-3的開幕禮也參與過, 老板也說我不錯, 可是還不夠。我起步遲, 志向也不宏大, 怎樣追趕也好像追趕不了。
從來都是躺在雲上看世界, 她帶我到雲下, 讓我看清楚現實是我很笨, 也一點不矝貴。金融分析, 精彩匯報, 異地公幹, 派對舞會都跟我扯不上關係, 那個教授以什麼要不要自動門的車為理據而省了錢的說價技巧, 那個強悍的AO演說, 那個在投資銀行做的多醒目, 那個飛黃騰達的發跡史, 我都不欣賞, 當中包含的只是大程度與小程度的謊言, 在我所學所得, 這叫資本主義的玩意, 我較欣賞的是為追尋理想, 拼命地,切實地一步一步走著的故事, 我欣賞Ishmael Beah與Ayaan Hirsi Ali。人生是由不同的故事交錯組合而成, 我愛聽故事, 說故事, 想故事和走著自己故事, 所以我會珍惜, 珍惜每一個故事的人和物。
我會記著無數的小故事, 中學的夏天跟爸爸上班, 幫他忙, 也看著他有血有汗的鑽錢養家, 拿起電鑽鑽著不怕地上的瓦片打在身上, 他是我唯一的偶像, 我在沙塵滾滾的地盤中抬著又重又長的鐵管, 收拾時刺破自己的手, 差點瞎了眼, 我懂得捱; 到四川天天走山路, 一星期沒有洗澡跟小朋友耍玩; 做的功課都嘗試著貼近社會, 跟美國的露宿者交朋友, 到巴西也不忘探望貧民窟醫院的小朋友, 畢業論文要了解少數族裔, 我懂得關心被忽略的…原來我已經做得不錯, 一直也很真, 很堅強, 只是別人看不到而已。
謝謝帶我了解現實, 或許我也該走自己應走的路, 寫回自己的故事, 我需要的是一個會欣賞我, 願意共我走過艱難的路, 伴我成長的人, 不懂珍惜的話便不強求, 每次都是滿心歡喜接受冰冷的對待, 夠了, 她呼喊的是怕沒有人喜歡她, 我呼喊的是怕我再沒有喜歡別人的能耐, 太累了, 也怕了。
一個人走, 要時刻記著相信自己, 欣賞自己和珍惜自己。
Add comment February 13th, 2010
投胎. Your destination is going to be…?
我會從這部風車旋轉型的自動攪珠機抽出你下輩子會到哪裡。你會去意大利，聽說哪裡的足球不錯。
Your destination of next life is decided by this lottery machine. And you are going to Italy, go and play some soccer!
Wow! Ciao Ciao! Pizza, spaghetti, Gelato, I am coming!
你會去美國，不要吃得太胖。
You are going to the U.S. Don’t forget to do some more exercise; otherwise you are going to be fat.
Super Bowl XLIV, Indiana Colts!!
中國呢，可幸的是你有飽飯吃，其餘的不要說太多了。
Congrats that you get rice, but you are not suppose to talk too much in this country.
能討活的話，其他都不理了。
Born to be an economic animal and nothing political…
你必須變得強悍才可以保命。
Oh boy, you have to be really tough to survive.
Smile to every challenges.
作為一個女生，你在這個國家會學會忍耐非凡人所能忍耐的。
As a woman, you will learn to bear something unbearable in this country.
……
God bless you.
http://www.881903.com/page/zh-tw/haiti.aspx?source=tbar
世界上有一群仍然為生存而掙扎的人，相比起他們，我們是幸福的。但是我不喜歡這一種比較得來的幸福，我覺得太殘酷了。沒錯，這樣我會更加珍惜自己擁有的，但是同樣我會罪疚。麻木的人會說我們值得擁有因為我們有更高的智慧，謀生技能，文化修養，道德層次，一切順理成章理所當然？其實純粹是我們幸運地降落在一個比較富裕的地方，一個地球資源比較集中的範圍，我們佔用了別人的配額，吃了人家分兒，享受了部份人這輩子也沒有奢望過的生活。
小時候我太飽吃不下時，媽媽會說非洲的兒童沒有飯吃，但是強行吃下本來吃不下的飯菜對事情有幫助嗎？我想要分得開，我不想要有罪疚感的幸福，我的幸福是要源自純粹的欣賞，珍惜，感恩。沒錯，比較差的人讓我學會更珍惜，然而比較別人的話我們可以是十分幸運，也可以是十分不幸，這個世界有幸運得像擁有全世界的，也有不幸得終日生存權利受威脅的，單向地比較差的或好的也不好，這種比較其實也沒有什麼準確的，世上也沒有一樣東西叫幸福值吧，我不要偽客觀比較得來的幸福。這種比較可以做的只是驅動我幫助有需要的人，這是佔了別人分兒的義務。
至於我的幸福，不是比較得來的，說簡單不簡單，說難也不太難，只是跟我珍惜和珍惜我的人在一起，明確一點的目標是成家立室再帶孩子到黃石公園跑山看黑熊去。這是純粹由心而發，可能有點拙劣，但不罪疚。
There are many people still struggling for their survival in the world. We are doing good compare to them. We got food, water, entertainment and everything. But I really don’t like this kind of content feeling come by comparison. Knowing about the situation of them would make me treasure about what I own more, but I also have a guilt feeling.
People with apathetic mind might say we deserve it because we are more intelligent, we got skills, and we have higher culture sense and moral standard. But no, we are only lucky enough to land on an abundant country, a place that resources of the earth concentrated. We occupied the quota of others, we ate the proportion of others, and we enjoy the lifestyle that someone in the other sides of the world did not even imagined to have. When I was small, mum told me kids in the Africa are starving when I was too full and refuse to eat some more. Is that finishing the whole big bowl of rice helps the situation in third world countries?
I would like to split it up in my mind. I don’t want my happiness linked with guilty feeling. My content feeling comes from appreciation, treasure and grace. Of course, comparing those worse than me would make me treasure more. While we could be fabulously content or absolutely nothing when we are comparing to others, some people are rich enough as if they own the whole world and some people’s survival right are threatened in everyday life. It is stupid to simply comparing to those better or worse off. There is no standard meter to evaluate content or happiness objectively. The comparison made me know about my responsibility to help those in need.
And about my happiness, it’s all subjective and does nothing with comparison. It could be easy, it could be difficult, it’s about to be with the ones I treasure and treasure me. I have a goal, to have my own family and bring my kids to yellow stone state park, running in the mountain, and say hello to the black bears. It’s impulsive and a bit silly, but it doesn’t bring any guilt feeling.
劇場版 Special Episode
1850s
你會到君主制下的香港，但山高皇帝遠，過一過水上人家的生活平平淡淡也不錯。
You are going to live in Hong Kong under monarchy, but the emperor is far enough to let you have a peaceful life.
1950s
香港雖然是殖民地，洋鬼子有很大的權，可是你努力還是有機會的，置業安家，養妻活兒絕對不成問題，運氣好的話發財也說不定呢。
Hong Kong is colony of Britain, so the British hold the power. But return to your effort is guaranteed. Having a home, feeding family won’t be a problem. And you can be rich if you are lucky enough.
馬照跑，舞照跳！
Horseracing and dancing never die!
1980s
香港將不再是殖民地，但你還是不見得有什麼權。政府跟商家關係十分良好，上一代地產佬響你出世之前就碌爆你張咭，你置業安家等如同佢做一世奴隸。你讀得多書肯搏肯捱，做一世騾仔生活大概安穩，但係發圍上位就一定冇你份。
Hong Kong is no longer a colony, but your voice is neglected still. The government and the businessmen are good friend. Those property developers had already overdrawn your account before your birth. Even If you buy a tiny apartment with 600 square feet, you have to be their slave for half of your life. Even if you studied hard and worked hard for your whole life, you can have a stable life, but to stand out this the place is nothing related to you.
正仆街！
Damn that Donald Duck!
Sorry for my poor drawing. It’s drawn by me this time. :p
Add comment February 1st, 2010
What a cute old man
Click here-Larry Platt - Memorable auditions-Click here.
Pants on the ground
Pants on the ground
Lookin’ like a fool with you pants on the ground
Gold in your mouth
Hat turned sideways, pants hit the ground
Call yourself a cool cat looking like a fool
Walking down town with yo pants on the ground
get it up!!
HEY! got your pants off the ground
lookin like a fool, walkin talking
with you pants on the ground
get it up
hey get them pants off the ground
Lookin’ like a fool with you pants on the ground
Gold in your mouth
Hat turned sideways, pants hit the ground
Call yourself a cool cat looking like a fool
Lookin’ like a fool with you pants on the ground
(repeat)
Source(s):
youtube
Add comment January 22nd, 2010
沒有隨意門的叮噹
互聯網利害之處，在於能把世界各地資訊超越時空，地域的界限共冶於一爐。上世紀的歷史，那邊中東打仗，那邊冰川溶化，達賴訪美高舉勝利手勢的畫面，甘地的名言以至匿名網民的評論，按動滑鼠都看到，聽到。連貫著網站與網民的，是網頁搜尋器，沒有這個，網頁都是一堆支離破碎的數據。Google，世界有名的網頁搜尋器說要離開中國，說真的，輸不了。網頁搜尋器的目標就是盡可能把所有的網站應要求一一放到用家面前。進了中國，要自我審查，這個不可以，那個不容許，互聯網的犀利不就是夠多嗎？Google強就不是強在把這樣多的東西帶到人面前嗎？外國的，即時的，敏感的，加了制肘的Google，就如同叮噹沒有了隨意門，法寶仍在，可拿手好戲沒有了，還有用，但不是最有用，對付胖虎可能有點吃力。
這一次Google一舉化身成網絡自由的代言人，挑戰中共權威，對自我審查說不，勇氣可加，既然一直以來在中國利潤佔全球不大，放手一搏有何不可？贏的機會說實話，不大。當中牽涉的政治問題，中共政府拒絕面對幾十年的，看來不會賣谷哥的帳翻出來。輸？最多退出，或是還原基本步，輸得不多，自由這個普世價值一直為已發展國家唱頌，這幾天Google能在世界各地新聞高擺正義姿態，輸得這麼帥，這麼受人愛戴，有何不可？
除了網絡自由的代言人，維權人士的保鑣也當了。我也試過在內地網咖看關於六四回顧的電郵後不久帳號被封了，忘了什麼啟動碼的便乾脆開個新的。Google一直說有駭客攻擊維權人士的電郵帳號，沒有指名道姓說是誰，可誰會在意維權人士的電郵內容？內地憤青要查他們家宅，挖他們家的祖墳，姦他們太祖母的屍嗎？不大可能吧。至於真兇是誰，不是的不會說，是的不敢說。重點是維權人士的電郵內容沒有被偷看到，好了，他們的人生安全大概得到保障。當然救人之餘亦不忘自助，看Google網絡的保安，成功抵抗如此國家級駭客入侵，保障客戶私隱，商業客戶大可放心了吧。
不知道是神來之筆還是危機應變，這一著盡顯膽識，展示公司技術，忠於企業原則操守，宣揚國家以至普世價值。
輸？輸在哪？
Batman without Batman Car
Internet, bringing the second revolution to the world after the industrial revolution, links people to people, people to information with no limitation of time and place. By few clicks on the mouse, you can reach the history of the last century, war happens in Middle East, the melting glaciers in North Pole, Dalai Lama showing the V sign when he was visiting United States, words of Gandhi or even comments of an anonymous surfer.
And the key tying websites and internet users to each other is the search engine. Without the search engine, web pages are nothing but pieces of data. Google, the largest search engine in the world say Goodbye to China? They have nothing to lose.
The mission of search engine is to put all the pages to the monitor according to users’request. When Google enter China, there is self-censorship, this is not allowed and that is prohibited.
Isn’t the Internet revolutionary because of its hyper-rich content? And isn’t Google good at bringing as much as it could to people? Foreign news, breaking news, sensitive issues and everything, the self-censored Google is like the Batman without Batman car. He is still good, but his favorite trick is lost. He has to take more time to beat the joker up.
This time, Google served as the spokesperson of online freedom, acting against the China communist party, its bravery is already adorable. If the gain in China only occupied little proportion of its global profit, why don’t they give a try? Honestly, don’t expect too much on this bet. The unsettled political problem for twenty years will not be revised because of Google.
However, the worst situation is quitting the restrictive China market or return to the basic, there is nothing to loss. Freedom as the common value of the world has always been praised among developed countries and Google is like the synonym of justice, online freedom on the news around the world these days. Lose with such a good image, why not?
Other than the representative of online freedom, Google is also the protector of those human rights activists. I have tried my Gmail account being blocked when I was reading news about VIIV in mainland China, and I forgot about the activation keys so I just register for a new one. Google claims that there are Chinese hackers trying to break into the accounts of human rights activists, they never name out who did it. Those hyper patriotic angry youth on the Forums? Are they going to have a home visit to human rights activists? Probably not. Who’s in behind is not a big deal. If the answer is yes, they don’t dare to say it. If the answer is no, they won’t say it. The point is the email content of those human rights activists is safe and no one broke into it. It proofed security system and crisis management of Google can protect clients’ data from the attacks in national scale. The privacy of clients is guaranteed, and the business customer can trust on Google.
No matter what, this move shows the guts of the company, performs the technology of the company and its support to freedom. There is really nothing to lose.
Special thanks to my brother drawing the picture.
Add comment January 16th, 2010
二十二歲的留白
我想過我們是天生一對的, 你自小負有責任感, 讀的都是名校, 上學時會做預習, 做功課, 你說被罰企也是罕有的。我呢, 在屋邨學校讀, 再到九流私校唸高中, 自小渾渾噩噩, 欠交功課, 罰留堂是常事, 甚至被罰洗廁所, 背著同學跑樓梯也試過。我想, 在不經不覺間, 你負上了不少責任, 對自己的要求也很高, 讓你有時緊張, 逼迫的, 嬉皮笑臉的我大概可以讓你稍為舒緩一下, 只有在你面前, 我不介意當小丑。我呢, 做事沒有條理的, 也會從你身上去學, 學會用記事簿, 學會寫一個好的履歷表, 學會進取, 學會計劃, 我們可以在成長中互補, 就像我的眼睛小你的眼睛大, 我高你矮一樣。這想法大概很天真吧。
想解釋很久, 我從沒想過去數落, 電話中被罵時我感到委屈, 還要充著說一時氣憤寫下, 我當時這樣想, 男孩子要做的是這個, 那個時候大概說甚麼也聽不進耳的。信中提及其實介懷只有遲到, 不回覆短訊和夜遊, 我認為這是不珍惜兩人關係的表現, 如果真的喜歡的話, 不是應該珍惜共聚的時光的嗎? 如果珍惜的話, 不是應該珍而重之每句說話的嗎? 如果是認定了的話, 為甚麼還要去被認定是狩獵的場所? 我沒有說過出來, 不代表我虛假, 不坦白, 只是因為包容, 那個晚上我早就把意大利文唸熟, 在床上坐著等待你的電話。這樣是假嗎?
跟你逛街時你說MNG的裙子你穿不上, 上面太闊, 中間太窄, 很懊惱的, 你又說比賽時要有專業的形象。我不希望喜歡的人被社會中的眼光, 所謂的專業, 體面, 時尚牽著走, 我喜歡最初認識的那個穿著橙色大衣到處走, 套上白色的羽絨躺在雪地上, 穿著拖鞋隨隨便便走到屋邨吃下午茶, 那個自然的你。我說你不夠漂亮? 可能吧, 我從來沒有以漂亮為擇偶條件, 我最喜歡的童話女主角不是灰姑娘, 不是白雪公主, 是醜小鴨。我喜歡為自己目標努力的人, 也喜歡人為我獻上心思, 即使是拙劣也可貴的。在我心目中, 醜小鴨一點也不醜, 甚至比天鵝美麗, 也許, 你當時有著這種拙劣地努力的特質吸引著我吧。
當然, 我做錯的也有, 忽略的也有, 也有不值得原諒的。現在距離漸遠, 我可以做的, 大概不是你想要的, 你追求的是更好的選擇。快踏入二十三歲, 都說出來好像舒服了一些, 雖然我不夠好, 但我自信是個好男人, and I will keep on fighting to be a better man.
Heading to Philippine now, be back on Dec 27. Really want to be with you on my birthday.
Add comment December 20th, 2009
My little secrets
青色的小鞋子
在小時候, 爸爸媽媽便曾為我穿上這雙青色的鞋。這照片的造型是父母用心替自己打辦的, 穿上青色鞋子的我亦一直置於家中顯眼的位置。青色是我其中一款偏好的顏色, 在其他人眼裡, 青色的鞋可能是奇怪的, 可我小時候就這樣穿的了, 還有什麼好怪呢?
喜歡上奇異果
在私立學校讀書時, 說真的並不好受。整間學校也沒有讀書的氣氛的, 雖然我從來不是愛讀書的人, 但為了前途, 沒辦法也要硬著頭皮去讀。很遺憾在我讀過的班別中, 勤力的往往是畸胎, 有時候是會被孤立或譏笑的。那時候在網上看過一個小故事, 奇異果與幾隻雞蛋放在雪櫃裡, 奇異果作為少數被雞蛋嘲諷著, 說它長得毛茸茸, 怪模怪樣的, 但是呢, 奇異果本來就是與雞蛋不同的嘛。我自覺是奇異果, 在超級市場買了一個來吃, 酸澀的, 就像被嘲諷, 孤獨時的心情, 多吃一口, 酸酸甜甜的好味道。自己覺得是正確的事, 默默地埋頭苦幹, 哪管有時成為被錯放於雞蛋旁的kiwi, 最後也會找到自己的價值。酸酸甜甜的奇異果, 其實很好吃。
這是兩項鮮為人知的源由。沒有人是奇怪的, 只要用心理解他的過去, 哪個發展也是順著前進。
Add comment November 12th, 2009
The number always in my heart
10252. This number had been stopped for more than a year. And I always want this number continue to grow, hope that I still have the chance. I care!
1 comment November 7th, 2009